Workable Relationships

All of us in one to one meaningful relationships are always looking for ways to make our unions work better.

Having had much personal experience and in working with clients, I’ve realised that we sometimes don’t comprehend what it is that we are doing wrong and how we can change our behaviours to create the lasting relationships we are hoping for.

Now saying this, I’m sure you will agree that there is no once in a life time pill that we can take or share with our partners what would make it possible to sort out and create the perfect situation of permanent relationship happiness.  We can, however, develop concentrated changes of in our behaviours that will improve and create a far more positive relationship.

So when I came across this piece of research I was more than happy to reflect on my own habits in my relationship not only with my husband but also with other members of my family to view what I was doing that was working, and by ‘working’ I mean creating the type of relationship with that individual that I wanted.  And if there was any way I could change my behaviour to improve things, where it may be needed.  I’ll keep the results of my personal review to myself at this point, but you may find this article by Emily Esfahani Smith, The Atlantic, interesting reading. Follow this link to read that article Lasting Relationships

Relationships work best when all parties can say they are equally getting what they want from their interactions.  So it goes without saying that in relationships that are not working well one or more of the parties are experiencing what they might call a deficient in the relationship.

I believe that no matter what technology we create to assist us with our time and activities, we as human beings will never be able to do without personal face to face, socRelationships 4.gifial engagement and interactions.

So anything we can discover that will help us to improve our people to people engagement, whether within a spousal relationship or at any other social level, the better for all of us.

The research done by Ty Tashiro and reported in his book The Science of Happily Ever After discusses relationships within a marriage, but from my experience many of the issues raised here are also appropriate for other relationships including those in the work place.  The article and the research states that lasting relationships come down to kindness and generosity.  Would you not agree that an improvement and increase in both of these relational elements would work wonders within many organisations?

In fact, some organisations may well be less happy places to work and even less successful due to the lack of these two simple but huge important qualities.  Relationships in the work place, whether staff related or customer related would achieve far more with a little more kindness and generosity mixed in.  it is unfortunately that in some organisations these two elements have become seen as signs of weakness and not strength as they are and it is felt by some that kindness and generosity  have no place within the business world.

How every wrong a position in which to find oneself.

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