In these challenging times we all need some help finding ways through it.  We all know that things will get better, but at times it can get hard to hang in there.  As I speak to many of my clients; (Managers and Business owners) many are finding it hard to hang in there.

When we’re experiencing times of difficulty, it is very easy for our mind and our thinking to be drawn continuously to those things we’re struggling with for a larger percentage of time.

It is quite natural that we consider what the difficulties, but we need to do this both logically and thoroughly, so that we are then able to understand what they are, why it’s happening and what we can do, if anything to improve the situation.  Sometimes things are beyond our ability to change and we can do nothing to immediately improve our situation.

When these times face us, the feelings of frustration and difficulty tend to be brought on by two ways of thinking:

1. Our natural or practised way of being or responding; and
2. Our desire and sometimes desperate need to see immediate change.

The first of the points above come from whether we are instinctively an optimist or pessimistic; how we have trained or practiced ourselves to respond and behave, when things are going the way we would like it to.

My experience in dealing with people is that based on our backgrounds and childhood experiences, we have preferred ways of behaving, which we’ve practised and adopted as being effective for getting what we want or helping us to deal with what we experience.

As adults though we can find that these methods are no long as effective as they were in our childhood and may actually work against us.  One can be too optimist and too pessimistic in our view or behaviour.  No one really likes someone who is too optimistic or too pessimistic either can end up not wanting to see the reality.  A little of either at the right time is what is required.

However, if we’ve been wise enough to realise our state and it’s effectiveness; and if we accept that this may need at time to change, we may have tried to find a happy medium, so that we are more flexible and realistic.  We may have found a range of ways to move ourselves from one to the other to obtain a more balanced view and way of dealing with life and the situations that may come our way.

I am naturally more optimistic, but there are times when even I find myself focusing on the difficulties I face, to the point of being in a cycle of negativity; feeling that I’ll never sort this one out.  Depending on who we are this downward spiral can last longer for some people than others.  I don’ tend to like being in the dumps for too long, it makes me terribly unhappy.  I’m sure I’m not alone here, but my naturally optimist nature helps me to get out of it more quickly than would someone who is naturally more pessimistic.

But even I have had to design a strategy to help me get myself out of the dumps as quickly as possible so as not to self destruct.  When I realise where I am, I use that place to get me to face things more honestly than maybe I have when I was being terribly optimistic.

In the next section I will be sharing some of the strategies I use to help me get myself through these difficult times and pull myself out of the dull drums.

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I can’t remember exactly what point we were discussing at the time, but it was around the different prospective that women bring to the table of business management.  Keith’s comment went something like:

 ‘Women are far better at cleaning that men are; when they clean the sink, they also clear underneath the basin of the sink.  Men never think of cleaning under the basin itself.  Women see things so differently sometimes than men do, and we are so much better for it.’

To be honest, I was quite struck by this comment, because prior to that point in time, I had never even thought about this in my role as mother, cleaner and all the other duties I do without giving much thought to them.  But in my experience with men, I have to say that Keith is correct.  I have never seen a man clean under the basin of the sink and would agree that it would be something I would think that women might think of, but not men.

Now before anyone gets the wrong impression, this was by no means a suggestion that women should stay in the kitchen or at home, quite the opposite.  We were discussing business management and Keith was noting some of the things he appreciates about the way women see the world and what they might consider to be necessary or important in business that a man might not instinctively think about.

And before all you men who might well clean under the basin of the sink send me horrid comments, just bear with me a little longer.

In churning this thought over and over in my mind, many times as a result of cleaning the bathroom, I began to wonder, why this might be an instinctive approach or activity to an every day job for women and not for men.

It is true that women have historically taken on the role of domestic goddess for centuries and there are lots or reason for this, many of which we will not go into now, and that by carrying out such roles probably in itself brought with it a range of knowledge and experience not achieved necessarily in other areas.

I have noticed though, as I am sure many other women have when they might have argued with their male spouses about the smell of their shoes, is that in the main, women have a much keener sense of smell than men do.

This may be as a result of women having the main responsible of bringing up the children; identifying when they are messy and need cleaning and changing, etc. In addition it has been proven scientifically that men require stronger smells and tastes before they can really notice things.  Men prefer sloppy kisses whilst women are equally moved by less sloppy kisses, anyway I digress.  So if cleanliness were left entirely to men the home would be in a terrible condition before it would be noticed.  And the point being that because of our sensitivity in the area of smell and mess, women cannot just ignore things, so are more prone to do something about it more quickly.

So this has given women a different prospective on the areas of the house that might well need to be cleaned, long before germs and bacteria run riot, and so that children and indeed the entire household remain safe.  However, the responsibility for the overall management of the household and the family is and should be a joint one.

There are many other areas of life and the management of the home and family that women have and continue to excel in, these are not always recognised as management skills but most definitely are, and bring a different, important and necessary perspective to management and business.

For example, women have learnt to read the emotions, body language, motivation, mood and activities of others and can usually also identify ways to respond.  An important series of skills that  work to keep families together, make individual members feel valued and a part of the whole and to know that their individual needs will be responded to even if not entirely met.

Women are very skilled at bringing people together in groups and networks; identifying the strengths, skills and resources individuals have to share for the benefit of the whole and getting each to share these.  When women are allowed to be themselves, and not necessarily always change their behaviour and responses to those of the opposite sex, they can bring their unique perspective to the benefit of the whole.

I am not saying that men are not capable of these things, but women, due to their view, what has been taught to them and have passed down from their mothers and to their children by them (particular to their female children), have practiced and taught skills that are even more necessary today, when the business world is in need of those who can hear and support the needs of the individual as well as the whole in order to create better businesses and society.  Women are also good at passing on the sense of duty and responsibility to others; all absolute ‘must haves’ for any effective manager and leader.

In light of the latest CMI survey and report on gender and pay equality, I believe that we must encourage more women to take up positions at high levels in the business and corporate world.  I feel that not to allow this different perspective to be shared at all levels in the work place is a huge and detrimental loss to society.  Women’s perspective should be accepted and received as equal, valid and important to society and business.  Not to do so is to ignore half of the skills that have made the human race successful.

So every time I clean my bathroom and in particular underneath the basin of the sink, I remember Keith’s comment.  It reminds me that my approach, perspective and view on the world and management is very important and valid; it reassures me that there are many of my male counterparts that appreciate the different perspective and approach that we women bring the workplace and the world at large; and it reminds me that I have a responsibility to share all that I have to bring.

Thank you Keith, we need more like you.

As a manager how long has it been since you have taken the opportunity to to stretch or challenge yourself, or to even create an opportunity to view the world, your world differently?  You may think that in these financially uncertain times you or your business cannot afford to spend money on training, coaching or even simple networking, but I would say that these things are a little like advertising for a business.  When things are good, it’s good to advertise; when things are difficult, you can’t afford not to advertise.

Refreshing your view, at the very least, and learning new things at best: listening to and sharing with others can help you sharpen your edge as a manager.  Learning new and different ways to craft your skills, as manager and leader, should be a career long endeavour, and will help you get the best out of your business, your staff and your peers.

It is always beneficial to take yourself out of your immediate situation every now and then, to see what’s going on around you.  Taking a slightly different view or just changing your physical environment can be a tonic to inspiration, renewal and creativity, and may just offer you some ideas that will help you to deliver more effectively.

A few ways by which you can maintain your management and leadership creative edge are to:

1. Attend taster sessions, seminars or short courses.  These are usually not too costly and your are likely to be able to choose topics you are more interested in learning more or hearing about, but you can stretch and challenge yourself by choosing topics which are new or different for you.
2. Attend speaker events.  There are many speaker events at which you can hear from specialists and experts, as they share from their experience and knowledge.  This is a good way to learn from the mistakes and experience of others without having to go through some of these things yourself.  These are also great opportunities to pick up ideas and information easily and quickly.   Attending events like these will also bring home the fact that you are in good company in your desire to learn and grow as a manager and leader.
3. Attending networking events.  Many people see these types of events as only occasions where you look for business or exchange information about business opportunities, and this can be the case.  However, network events can also be a place of learning from others, listening and gaining information and inspiration.  Some network events are combined with speaker events addressing management or business related topics.  There are run as breakfast, lunch time or evening events, so it can be easy for you to arrange your work day to fit your attendance.   At Open Mind Training & Development we run a number of these throughout the year, as well as some that in conjunction with other organisations such as Women in Management (WiM), Chartered Management Institute (CMI) and other organisations.  Sign up a mailing list or check websites regularly so that you can find out about up and coming events and so be able to book and plan them in your diary.
4. Invest in yourself.  If you were to read the biographies of some of the most successful people in all walks of life, you will find, I am sure, that all of them invested time and money in themselves, in their own development.  Most were not rich, famous or successful when they started out, but they believed enough in themselves to make some time and financial investment in their own futures.
• If you are a manager employed by someone else, you may be expecting your company to invest in you, and all good companies will do their best to achieve this.  But why leave the development of your career entirely in the hands of your employer?  Are you not worth your own time and money?  I would challenge you find ways to commit to your own personal and career development.  If you are not sure where to start, start by investing in a couple sessions with a career coach, who will be able to help you find some direction and some ideas on how you can begin to make that personal career development commitment to yourself.  She may even be able to help you to identify why you’ve not taken these step already, if you have resisted doing so.
• If you are business own, then you know about the overall cost of running a business and I ‘m sure you will also know that the more you learn about how to manage yourself and your staff more effectively, the more time you will have to grow your business.  Well making sure that you take some time out to do this can make all the difference between burn out or should I say crash and burn out and surviving these times well.  A business coach is someone who can help you by taking an objective view of your business, it’s achievements and what you can do to improve your effectiveness and efficiency as a manager and business owner.  A skilled business coach will help you learn more useful ways to use your resources (your people, finance, equipment, etc) better.
• Secondly as a business owner you should set an example to your staff by undertaking training and development yourself.  If you are prepared to show that you need to learn, this will become the culture of your business and your staff will see that it is acceptable and expected that they continue to learn and invest in their development also.  Are you and your business worth it?  If the answer in no, then you should give up now.
5. Join an online group or community.  Online community groups can also be great places to connect with others, learn and share information on the given focus of the group.  Although you may not thinks so, your thoughts, ideas and experience are of interests to others.

These are, in the main free and as you learn you can also get involved by asking questions, sharing information and giving your opinion and feedback on issues.  It is also a great place to make friends, who have the say interest as your own.

You can join the Women in Management on line community at www.wimuk.co.uk which is open to men and women, its just that the focus is on women’s develop, but anyone can learn from here.

In closing I would note that there is a wealth of information around, but as accessible as it may be to us, unless we take the time to take hold of it, understand it and use it properly, it is useless to us.  Sometimes we need the help and support of others to show us how to do this best.

Make a positive change today.  How will you let this information positively influence you now?  Email me back and share your action plan for maintain your creative edge.

The findings do indicate that change is on its way though, through the decisions made at lower levels, but it will still be a very long time before real equality is achieved.  Like many women today, I feel that the quickest way is for more women to branch out into business on their own.  As I have said before current corporate organisations will lose out if they do not realise what they are missing out on, and that the inequality brought about by lack of change or failure to change causes damage to our economy and society as a whole.

Another cautionary note I have to share however is that of just putting a female at the head of an organisation in an effort to show that ‘we are an equality conscious organisation’ can be a doomed move.   This has been done by a few organisations with disastrous results, which have been detrimental for the organisations, its staff and members and to the whole cause and discussion on equality in the board room.  This results in creating a feeling of fear in those who make such decisions and reinforces their belief that women are not suited to the boardroom.

Tokenism is a very lazy approach and is lazy thinking.  Organisations should take a long term developmental approach to the employment, positioning and development of all of their employees, including those on the board or at the head.  All management teams have a responsibility for all of their staff and if staff fail, it can be as much the cause the organisation as that of the individual.  Without clear guidance any individual, male or female, left to their devises is bound to lose their way.  In those organisations that succeed you will find that they ensure both support and accountability. It is my experience and belief that the higher an individual goes within an organisation the great is their need for support, coaching and to be held accountable.

A well known quote by Lord John Dalberg-Acton, in his letter to Mary Gladstone (24 April 1881)  states

Historic responsibility has to make up for the want of legal responsibility. Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men, even when they exercise influence and not authority: still more when you superadd the tendency or the certainty of corruption by authority. There is no worse heresy than that the office sanctifies the holder of it.

The main issue for women is that they are different from men and most senior roles are given to men by men; men naturally are more comfortable with the company of other men; therefore women who behave like men are more likely to get the job.  However, if this is the case, then women who behalf like men bring no new perspective to the table than that of another man.  When this strategy is used, as it is in too many cases and the appointment fails (this approach fails) then all women are tarnished and the resistance to bringing capable ‘female-women’ to top level jobs continues.

So how can we counteract this cycle of failure and frustration?

Surely the result of changing our approach will work for the benefit of both male and female staff at all levels within our organisations.  This will create better development of all of our staff and prepare our organisations to better face the challenges of the future, with the best that both genders have to five.  Our organisations should be places where people are developed, learn how to communicate directly with people in senior roles and are given the power of having their voice heard.

This in my view will provide a more equal forum for male and female managers at all levels who will in turn become more accustomed to their approaches and their true differences.  Difference is good and beneficial for all of us. It is not something to be afraid of but to embrace in all of our lives.  Difference brings creativity, innovation, improvement and change.

Until equality in its true sense is given a real and honest place within the structure, management and leadership of our organisations and businesses, the decisions made with regard to who is given a seat at boardroom and senior management levels, will continue to those based on fear, inappropriate needs for safety and personal comfort instead of what is necessary in order to achieve what is right and necessary to create greater achievements in flexible, innovative, creative and success; making our organisations the best places within which to work.

The McKinsey report states that “to crack the upper echelons of corporate America, companies must groom a deeper bench of female middle managers for advancement.  By increasing the number of  women who make it from middle management t the vice presidential level, corporations could vastly improve the odds for building diversity in top management.”

Although this report primarily discusses corporate America,  the picture is not dissimilar her in the UK.  I agree hole-heartedly with Joanna Barsh, a McKinsey Senior Partner, who co-wrote the report when she states that “companies need to spend more time coaching women and offering more leadership training and rotation through various management roles before their ambitions sours.

Coaching for men in the corporate world happens without much thought.  If a younger member of staff is identified as having potential he is paired with a more senior manager and introduced to other individuals how can support his development, as well as invited to sit in on meetings and discussion.  Thirdly there is ‘old boys’ network through which this younger or more inexperienced member of team learns and shares information.

This happens sometimes long before the individuals is given a role of responsibility.  By the time this happens this individual has learnt (picked up) the necessary information skills and know-how and building relationships to enable him to work more effectively at a higher level.

This does not seem to happen at all for women.  Whether this is a gender issue and men feel uncomfortable having gender in their midst or something else.  The point is that organisations and in our case UK PLC are missing out on a wealth of knowledge, skills and abilities, but not doing more to open the doors and opportunities for women.

The McKinsey report found that companies are not “systematically watching these women at the middle management level and putting in programmes that would help them develop and get over the next [promotion] hurdle.”

Read the piece from the Wall Street Journey by Louise Radnofsky and Joann S. Lublin at

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704530204576237203974840800.html

and

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704587004576245241776078406.html?mod=WSJ_Careers_CareerJournal_4

This year marks 100 years of International Women’s Day and 40 years of the Equal Pay Act.  Unfortunately it seems that we can fight to bring freedom and equality to other Countries, but there are still things in the Western world that we refuse to change i.e. equality and diversity to women in our businesses, community and nation.

Guest speaker Maria  Kempinskia MBE, founder of Jongleurs Comedy Clubs share from her experience of starting, developing and expanding her business and some of her personal strategies for doing so.Guests also heard from Ruth Spellman CEO of the Chartered Management Institute, of which the Institute of Consultants is now part.

Sandra Pollock, Director of Open Mind Coaching UK and National Chair of Women in Management attending the dinner, along with Mike her husband, who as always is hidden behind the camera and responsible for these excellent photos.

Visit our new Flickr page to see more picture from the evening http://www.flickr.com/photos/omcuk

Thanks to John and Roma Cox and their team for organising such a great and inspiring evening.

I thought this was very interesting in light of the current economic climate, where more and more people find themselves out of work and those in work may be more likely to show greater appreciate for what they have.  Not that that is a bad thing at all.

I had an opportunity to share briefly on this subject with presenter Jonathan Lampon on the BBC Radio Leicester on the Lunchtime show this afternoon.  You can hear it on ‘listen again’ for the next couple days.

Following on from this, I thought I would share a few tips for anyone dealing with being not so happy at work at the moment.  The truth of the matter is, if only 40% are unhappy, then clearly a greater percentage of us, 60% are happy.

But I am sure that all of us have been unhappy at sometime in one job or another.  So if that happens what can we do about it?

Well here are a few tips I hope will help:

1. If you can’t change your job, find external interests or hobbies.

• Focus on what makes you happy and get involved in doing some charitable work.

Nothing helps more to focus the mind on what we have that we can be thankful for than giving to others less fortunate in one regard or another.

2. Find out what you want to do. If not this job, then what else would you like to be doing? If you want to change your job, but are not sure what you want to do:

• Be clear about what you enjoy doing;
  • Find out what excites and energises you; what really peaks your interest?
  • What helps to replenish your emotions and strength; What make you happy;  Do more of these things. There may be something in these areas that you earn living doing.

3. Take responsibility or your own life. Take control of your life

• If you are not happy, don’t just complain about it, do something about it.  If you don’t know where to start, get someone to help you. Get yourself a mentor or a coach.  At the very least discuss how you are feeling and your situation with a friend or family member; someone who can help you to look at it objectively.

4. Write a grateful diary

• Once a day or at least once a week jot down the things that you are glad to have in your life – those things you are grateful for:
  • It could be big or small, it does not matter – it’s your list
  • Reflect on what is good in your life and write that down;
  • This is help you to remember that there is more to life than work and that there are still quite a lot in your life that makes you happy.  It could be getting a smile from a stranger on the bus today or seeing the bird flying today.  The fact that you able to see this and it made you feel good is the important point.
  • Remember that the small things in life are just as important as the bigger things.
  • If this is hard at first, start it with a friend or partner. Talk about the things that you are glad to have and appreciate.  Sometime saying this out loud can be a great help.

This can help to change what you are focusing on.  Sometimes we get so stuck looking at what’s not working well, we forget that there are things in our lives that are good.

5.  Get qualifications – this will help you feel as though you are actually doing something to change things now, although it may a little time to achieve this.  There are short courses and well as longer ones.

6.  Learn something new. Try something you’ve never tried before – hobby, leisure or work interest. Stretch yourself.  You will realise that there are other things you can do.  This will help to open your eyes and your horizons.

7.  Work on your people skills – get some help with how you interact with people in the workplace.  Changing your approach can either change things on your current job or improve the way you deal with people in your new job, socially and with your family members.

8.  Work on your communication skills – look at how you communication, not only with your words, but in your non-verbal communication.  It may be that you are giving out the wrong signals and this is affecting how you interact with people and the results you are getting.

9. Get out into the fresh air – get some exercise. Exercise and fresh air have a huge impact on your mental and physical well being.  People who exercise a couple times a week find that it helps reduce stress and gives you a more positive outlook.  Getting out into the open, parks, the country side, etc, helps you to get more in touch with nature and feel less pressured.

10. Learn how to be more assertive and build your confidence. Get some training. Sometimes when people are unhappy at work, it is because they don’t feel able to be heard or they don’t get the respect they think they are due.  Understanding and working on these two areas will definitely be beneficial.

11.  If you are feeling under pressure at work and being given too much to do, don’t keep quiet about it.  Speak to your manager and re-state the fact that they need to prioritise what they have given you to do.  Work on agreeing realistic targets and then plan your time appropriately.

12. Never give up on trying finding happiness you are worth it.

And finally, if you are unhappy working for others, you can always do what many people have done over the years and start working for yourself.  Become self employed.  This is the stuff our Nation is made of.

We are proud to announce that we are now in receipt of the first batch of the book Vircover-Petal by thirteen year old Jerusha.

This her first book was written and illustrated over the school summer holiday.

Vircover-Petal is a children’s fantasy:

A tale of a young heroine born into a beautiful and extra-ordinary world, but one which is under threat of darkness.

How she finds out about herself and what she can do to change the conflict and the course of her plant.

Vircover-Petal is available in paperback and e-book from Amazon.co.uk, Waterstones and other good book stores.

To purchase your paper back or e-book copy from Amazon, please use the link below.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Vircover-Petal-Nothing-Seems-Jerusha-Barnett-Cameron/dp/1906602115

Should you encounter an ‘out of stock’ notice, please continue with your order, the book is indeed available.

Read now

Well done and congratulations on your achievement.