This is first of three blogs on this topic
In these challenging times we all need some help finding ways through it. We all know that things will get better, but at times it can get hard to hang in there. As I speak to many of my clients; (Managers and Business owners) many are finding it hard to hang in there.
When we’re experiencing times of difficulty, it is very easy for our mind and our thinking to be drawn continuously to those things we’re struggling with for a larger percentage of time.
It is quite natural that we consider what the difficulties, but we need to do this both logically and thoroughly, so that we are then able to understand what they are, why it’s happening and what we can do, if anything to improve the situation. Sometimes things are beyond our ability to change and we can do nothing to immediately improve our situation.
When these times face us, the feelings of frustration and difficulty tend to be brought on by two ways of thinking:
- Our natural or practised way of being or responding; and
- Our desire and sometimes desperate need to see immediate change.
The first of the points above come from whether we are instinctively an optimist or pessimistic; how we have trained or practiced ourselves to respond and behave, when things are going the way we would like it to.
My experience in dealing with people is that based on our backgrounds and childhood experiences, we have preferred ways of behaving, which we’ve practised and adopted as being effective for getting what we want or helping us to deal with what we experience.
As adults though we can find that these methods are no long as effective as they were in our childhood and may actually work against us. One can be too optimist and too pessimistic in our view or behaviour. No one really likes someone who is too optimistic or too pessimistic either can end up not wanting to see the reality. A little of either at the right time is what is required.
However, if we’ve been wise enough to realise our state and it’s effectiveness; and if we accept that this may need at time to change, we may have tried to find a happy medium, so that we are more flexible and realistic. We may have found a range of ways to move ourselves from one to the other to obtain a more balanced view and way of dealing with life and the situations that may come our way.
I am naturally more optimistic, but there are times when even I find myself focusing on the difficulties I face, to the point of being in a cycle of negativity; feeling that I’ll never sort this one out. Depending on who we are this downward spiral can last longer for some people than others. I don’ tend to like being in the dumps for too long, it makes me terribly unhappy. I’m sure I’m not alone here, but my naturally optimist nature helps me to get out of it more quickly than would someone who is naturally more pessimistic.
But even I have had to design a strategy to help me get myself out of the dumps as quickly as possible so as not to self destruct. When I realise where I am, I use that place to get me to face things more honestly than maybe I have when I was being terribly optimistic.
In the next section I will be sharing some of the strategies I use to help me get myself through these difficult times and pull myself out of the dull drums.This is part one of three blogs on this topic. Check back shortly for part two.