I’m Stuck – Tips 1 – 3

Introduction

Hello, I am Sandra Pollock of Open Mind Coaching,

And this is the Mirror Challenge

I have been coaching people in life, career and business for over 20 years with clients in countries all over the world.

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My passion is to help people become successful, overcome challenges and take the steps they want to, to achieve their dreams.

If you’ve listened to the first podcast of I’m stuck, you will recall that I said I would share some 15 additional tips over the next few podcasts.

In this session I will be continuing the focus on the topic, ‘I’m Stuck and covering tips on:

  • Connect with yourself
  • Don’t be afraid of you, and
  • Learn to listen to yourself

So let’s get started.

  1. Connect with yourself

This may sound a little strange because most of us would think that we are already connected to ourselves and know who we are, but if you’re feeling stuck that is evidence that you’re not as connected to yourself as you really want to be.

One area in which we can learn to be better connected to ourselves is in understanding what your body needs when it needs it.  For example, when it needs rest and relaxation, sleep, food, etc.  Or in understanding what your mind and your emotions are telling.  Reading our emotional state, may not be something that we are encouraged to get to know in our busy society, but our emotions give us messages about what’s really happening and what we need to deal with.

We are usually trained to ignore these nature human messages.

When you’re feeling unloved by the world around, if could very well be a sign from your inner self to say, focus on loving yourself instead of loving for others to do that job for you.

In many cases when we’re seeing lack around us, it likely to be the very thing that we need and the best way to get something is to give it.

Being connected to yourself will enable you to learn, understand and accept what will make you happier within.

  1. Don’t Be Afraid of YOU

When we’re not used to hearing and trusting our own voice, we might feel a sense of apprehension at the thought of trust our own opinion and our own voice on many things.

A sense of fear may well be created when you find yourself wanted things or making decisions that are different from those of your parents, guardians or authority figures in your life and community.

It may even be that the things that you find that you like, are interested in doing and really want to do may be different from the role that spouse or partner might want you to fulfil.  So you may feel a sense of fear when you think that this might cause some degree of conflict between you and others.

This does not make you wrong nor does it make your wants and needs wrong.  You do have a right as a human being to your opinions and a right to want different things to those other people think you should want.

So don’t be afraid to explore your own wants, like and interests, even when these are not the same as others.  You may actually introduce others to something new that they may like.  An example of this is when I decided that I wanted to try horse riding.  My husband had always said he hated horses after having been kicked by a horse when he was a child.  Horsing riding was one of the things I’d put on my things to do by the end of the year a few years ago, so I was determined to do this.

In a wish not to be outdone by me, my husband decided he would join me and had to admit at the end of the riding session that he had thoroughly enjoyed it.  Had it not been for me pursuing my own interest he would not have had such a great experience and have a different view of horses.

  1. Learn to Listen to Yourself

We speak to ourselves in a number of ways, we all do this, it’s part of our condition as human beings.  We hear words or thoughts in our head.  We commonly refer to this as self-talk.  No one ever really comes to a point where they do not have some kind of dialogue or imagery going on in their heads.

For the record, even those people who meditate actually still have some dialogue or imagery happening in their minds. We can never stop thinking.  The skill in meditation is to learn to direct your thinking to create more calm.

The other ways we talk to ourselves is through our emotions and our feelings.  Our mind and our body sends us messages that tell us about

  • how we are feeling,
  • what is going on within us and why,
  • what we like,
  • what we feel comfortable with and
  • what we don’t like so much

We get these messages from our body, mind, our environment and the people around us too.

It’s just unfortunate that many of us were never taught to value these message or how important they are to our personal happiness and satisfaction.

I’m sure you can remember a time when you felt afraid and just knew you were in danger.  You probably felt this message all over your body.

How about when you feel that you’re coming down with a cold and you need to get some rest to try to give your body rest try to avoid the cold taking hold.

There are many other messages that your emotions, mind, and body communicate to you about and not only through your mind but using all parts of your body.  When we don’t listen to ourselves we cause internal confusion which can result in internal frustration – feeling stuck.

This latter method of self-communication may not seem like something you might be familiar with but it is a natural part of who we are.  If you doubt it think about how you feel when you are experiencing nervousness.  Think about where you feel that emotion (of nerves) within your body.

At these times your mind and your body are giving you messages, they are speaking to you.  So learn to listen to yourself more frequently and you will realise there are many more messages than might have realised before.

If we can just learn to understand these message, we can avoid some of the wrong decisions we make and actions we take that result in us experiencing inner frustration and confusion.

So we’ve looked briefly at

  • Connect with yourself
  • Don’t be afraid of you, and
  • Learn to listen to yourself

I hope that the tips I’ve shared so far will at least get you thinking about how you can move yourself on from feeling stuck.  Everything takes time and these are just tips to get you started.  Working through them with a good coach and help you progress quickly, whether it’s me or someone else.

Let me know how you are doing.

In my next podcast, I will be talking about

  • Identifying your core values
  • Accepting and taking responsibility
  • Setting your priorities

Don’t forget you can find out more by visiting my website openmindcoaching.com or dropping me a line at sandra@openmindcoaching.com.

Thank you for listening.  Sandra Pollock saying goodbye for now.